Just as I am, though tossed about
with many a conflict, many a doubt
Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mk. 9:23-24)
Of course, Jesus was able to heal this father’s son. The question was, is this man able to persuade himself that Jesus could heal his son . . . even after the disciples had failed? Jesus wanted to impart a double blessing on him—not only by healing his son physically but by healing him of his unbelief spiritually. When he realized that his son’s healing was dependent on his faith, the father desperately cried out, eyes filled with tears, “Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!” The boy’s father trusted Jesus, and yet he recognized that he did not fully take God at His Word. He knew that his affections, his actions, and his will, did not demonstrate full confidence in Jesus. Therefore, he pleaded with Jesus to rescue him from his unbelief and doubts. Jesus answered the cry of this father’s heart.
When we are faced with crises, God uses the hardships to draw us nearer to Himself. He wants to walk beside us as we go through the valley of doubt and fear on our ascent to a place of greater dependence on Him. Elliott, author of this hymn, had many conflicts and doubts. We all do. Paul doubted his faith (Ro. 7:15-19). Jacob doubted God, he wrestled with God. God changed his name to Israel, “wrestling with God, overcoming with God.” Though we may think that doubting is a sign of weak faith, in fact, it is a sign that our faith is maturing—becoming deeper and wider, spilling over into more areas of our lives.
Are you doubting God’s Word? Are you anticipating difficulty ahead? If so, think back to a past problem that you encountered. Did you call out to God for help? Did you find God’s hand in it? He will never leave you nor forsake you (Heb. 13:5). If you are honest with yourself, you will realize that God had provided help in unimaginable ways. He may have brought in the perfect people; He may have provided incredible help in unexpected ways when you were encompassed with great conflict and doubt. Do not be afraid to question God. He wants you to be honest with Him. He already knows what’s on your mind. He wants you to think; to ask the hard questions. When you do, God begins to break out of the box you have placed Him in. Despite your inner conflicts, your fears, your confusion, even your skepticism, you can come to Jesus with all your doubts “Just as I am, though tossed about with many a conflict, many a doubt.”